Empty Nest Syndrome: Transitioning to Life After Kids

Empty Nest Syndrome:

Could it be promise, adventure and freedom?

Although not a clinical diagnosis, Empty Nest Syndrome can trigger sadness and loss. Parents with a newly empty nest may feel a deep void in their lives or at a loss as they struggle to find meaning in “life after kids.”

When my son went to college, I had a husband, an eleven-year-old, two dogs, and two cats; I owned a thriving business, volunteered regularly, and was working on a Ph.D.; I was VERY busy with all sorts of truly meaningful “stuff.” Since my house and life were still full, I was surprised by my feelings of sadness. No longer littered with our son’s big shoes nor brightened by his gregarious personality, my full house felt empty!

Eleven years later, as my youngest can’t wait to return to dorm life, I have the benefit of hindsight. I know that “life after kids,” although a different kind of awesome than “life with kids,” is awesome, nonetheless.

Given the time, energy, and resources parents expend on raising kids, it’s not surprising that we feel off-kilter when life suddenly slows down. Ironically, taking our kids to college is a milestone we worked hard to make possible yet simultaneously triggers sadness, loss of identity, and feelings of “what next”? Although adjusting to an empty nest can be tough, you can do things to ease the transition.

21 Ways to Adjust to Life After Kids

ONE: Don’t be afraid to cry. It is natural to feel loss when an important life stage ends.

TWO: Let the people close you to know how you feel.

THREE: Avoid words and actions that may leave your kids feeling guilty for leaving; it will make you feel worse!

FOUR: Take care of yourself: nourish yourself physically and spiritually.

FIVE: Find meaningful ways to fill your time.

SIX: Be patient with yourself. It is a process; it gets easier.

SEVEN: Reconnect with your partner, yourself, or both!

EIGHT: Look forward to the new relationships that develop as our children become adults.

NINE: Go out to eat on a whim.

TEN: Get away for an impromptu weekend.

ELEVEN: Seek out new opportunities/roles, professional and personal. You are not too old to try something you’ve always wanted to do!

TWELVE: Make plans that excite you.

THIRTEEN: Take a class on something you’ve always wanted to learn more about—there are plenty of free online classes on pretty much everything you can think of.

FOURTEEN: Create a bucket list and check items off as you experience them.

FIFTEEN: Keep in touch, but don’t hover.

SIXTEEN: Make plans to get together for holidays.

SEVENTEEN: Sleep in, or get up and go back to bed.

EIGHTEEN: Choose to be happy.

NINETEEN: Watch shows and movies your kids didn’t like.

TWENTY: Join a support group or a social media group such as Grown and Flown Parents.

TWENTY-ONE: Celebrate and acknowledge your accomplishments; raising kids isn’t easy.

While we can’t stop our kids from leaving home, nor would we want to, we can choose what we do next. Make it something awesome!

Note: If Empty Nest Syndrome feels like it is developing into full-blown depression, seek out professional support.

For more inofrmation related to all things college admissons and going to college, please contact us at kathy@fineeducationalsolutions.com