Empty Nest Syndrome: What can Parents do to Help Ease the Transition to Life After Kids?

Although not a clinical diagnosis, Empty Nest Syndrome can trigger feelings of sadness and loss. Parents with a newly empty nest may feel a deep void in their lives or at a loss as they struggle to find meaning in “life after kids.”

When my son went to college, I had a husband, an eleven-year-old, two dogs, and two cats at home; I owned a business, volunteered regularly, and was working on a Ph.D.; I was VERY busy with all sorts of truly meaningful “stuff.” Since my house and life were still full, I was surprised by my feelings of sadness.  No longer littered with big shoes nor brightened by my gregarious and loving son, my full house felt empty!

Eleven years later, as my youngest can’t wait to get back to dorm life, I have the benefit of hindsight and know that “life AFTER kids,” although a different kind of awesome than “life with kids,’ is awesome, nonetheless.

Given the time, energy, and resources parents expend on raising kids, it’s not surprising that when life suddenly slows down, we feel off kilter. It’s ironic that dropping our kids off at college is simultaneously a milestone parents work hard to make possible and a time that can trigger sadness, loss of identity, and feelings of, “what next?” Although the adjustment to an empty nest can be tough, there are things you can do to ease the transition.

21 Ways to Adjust to Life After Kids

ONE: Don’t be afraid to cry. It is natural to feel loss when an important life-stage comes to an end

TWO: Let the people you are close to know how you feel

THREE: Avoid words and actions that may leave your kids feeling guilty for leaving; it will make you feel worse!

FOUR: Take care of yourself: nourish yourself physically and spiritually

FIVE: Find meaningful ways to fill your time

SIX: Be patient with yourself. It is a process; it gets easier.

SEVEN: Reconnect with your partner, yourself, or both!

EIGHT: Look forward to the new relationships that develop as our children become adults

NINE: Go out to eat on a whim

TEN: Get away for an impromptu weekend

ELEVEN: Seek out new opportunities/roles, professional and personal. You are not old to do something you’ve always wanted to do!

TWELVE: Make plans that excite you

THIRTEEN: Take a class on something you’ve always wanted to learn more about—there are plenty of free online classes on pretty much everything I can think of

FOURTEEN: Create a bucket list and check them off as you do them

FIFTEEN: Keep in touch, but don’t hover

SIXTEEN: Make plans to get together for holidays

SEVENTEEN: Sleep in, or get up and go back to bed

EIGHTEEN: Choose to be happy

NINETEEN: Watch shows and movies your kids didn’t like

TWENTY: Join a support group or a social media group such as Grown and Flown Parents

TWENTY-ONE: Celebrate and acknowledge your accomplishments; raising kids isn’t easy

While we can’t stop our kids from leaving home, nor would we want to, we can choose what we do next. Make it something awesome!

Note: If Empty Nest Syndrome feels like it is developing into full-blown depression, seek out professional support.